Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Have you ever read the book with the title is “Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? If you not yet read that book, I strongly recommend that you must read it. Especially for those of you who want your relationship with your partner to remain harmonious. Yes, because this book who written by John Gray is a book that tell us about a relationship of love, about differences between men and women, about how to understand our partners well, and much more. This book consists of 13 chapters. But if I discuss all of the chapters in this blog, I think it will be very longer, right? LOL. Therefore, I will only discuss one chapter that makes me interested, that is chapter 5 with the title is "Speaking Different Languages". 

So, if you curious about that chapter, please keep stay tune in my blog and read until finish.

As the title, "Speaking Different Languages", in this chapter discusses how the language used by men and women that is clearly different. Especially in female language. Yes, I'm a woman who also feels that woman is a complicated creature, LOL. Do you think the same thing with me? wkwk

For example, when speaking, as mentioned in this book, to fully express women’s feelings, she assume poetic license and use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations languages more often, and men mistakenly take these expressions literally. Because they misunderstand the intended meaning. For example, when a women says “You don’t love me anymore”, the women’s meaning is “today I’m feeling as though you don’t love me. I’m afraid I have pushed you away. I know you really do love me, you do so much for me. But today, I’m just feeling a little insecure. Would you reassure me of your love and tell me those three magic words, I love you. When you do that it feels so good”. But if the men take this expression literally, the meaning that hear by men would be “I have given you the best years of my life, and you have given me nothing. You are selfish and cold. You do what you want to do, for you and only you. You do not care about anybody. I was a fool for loving you. Now I have nothing”. Yapss, actually sometimes like this if the men can’t understand the really meaning of the women’s say.

And actually women also using codes. That might be if the man can’t interpret the code correctly, there would be misunderstood. The most common example is, usually when a woman says "I'm fine" or "I'm okay", that means she's not okay at all, or something is happening inside her. Or when a women watch the trailler of the new movie in instagram and then she say “wuahhh, I think the film is so good”. It means that she want the men invite her to watching the movie at cinema together. Yeahh, I think the men will be confused if the women always give him some codes like that. And the women always want to be understood by the man. So, I hope you will understand what your women want literally, dude. Hihiii ^^

And in this chapter also discuss about when a men don’t talk. In this chapter, the writer said that quite often a man will suddenly stop communicating and become silent. This was unheard of on Venus. At first a woman thinks the man is deaf. She thinks that maybe he doesn’t hear what’s being said and that is why he isn’t responding.

You see men and women think and process information very differently. Before man talk or respond the women’s says, they first silently “mull over” or think about what they have heard or experienced. Internally and silently they figure out the most correct or useful response. They first formulate it inside and then express it. And to make matters even more confusing for women, if he doesn’t have enough information to process an answer, a man may not respond at all.

Women need to understand that when he is silent, he is saying “I don’t know what to say yet, but I’m thinking about it”. Instead what women hear is “I’m not responding to you because I don’t care about you and I’m going to ignore you. What you have said to me is not important and therefore I’m not responding”. Yapss, because actually silence is most easily misinterpreted by women.

Women also need to learn that when a man is upset or stressed, he will automatically stop talking and go to his “cave” to work things out. They need to learn that no one is allowed in that cave, not even the man’s best friends. This was the way it was on Mars. Women shouldn’t become scared that they have done something terribly wrong. They need gradually to learn that if you just let men go into their caves, after a while they will come out and everything will be fine. And the things that you can do when he go to his cave is give him some support like you can say “Do something that makes you happy”.

Much unnecessary conflict has resulted from a woman following a man into his cave. Women just haven’t understood that men really do need to be alone or silent when they are upset.

A man wants his women to trust that he can handle what is bothering him. To be trusted that he can handle his problems is very important to his honor, pride, and self-esteem. Not worrying about him is difficult for her. Worrying for others is one way women express their love and caring. It is a way of showing love. For a woman, being happy when the person you love is upset just doesn’t seem right. He certainly doesn’t want her to be happy because he is upset, but he does want her to be happy. He wants her to be happy so that he has one less problem to worry about. In addition he wants her to be happy because it helps him to feel loved by her. When a woman is happy and free from worry, it is easier for him to come out. Knowing that she is happy with him also gives him more strength to deal with his problem while in the cave.

I hope when you have read the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and after you read my blog, your relationship with your partner will be much better and can understand each other. Because actually understanding each other is one of the most important things in relationships, especially in love relationships. And I’m sorry if there are some mistakes^^

Okayy, thank you for visiting my blog everyone. And if you have a love story, you can tell me in the comment, everyone...... See you later